nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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