He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
