Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
