First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
