Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sacagawea was the original milf.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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