At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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