butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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