Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
