I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
