So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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