You're a womanizer and a bitch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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