Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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