I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
