I heard we made out
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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