Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
