I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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