its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
look no pants
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize