If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
