So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
