She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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