i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
