oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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