belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
