i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
