You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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