Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
