bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
