as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
