My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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