This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
