nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
