Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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