It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Terrible idea I love it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
