He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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