just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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