wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He better not be in your backpack
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
