Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
