My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
