I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I puked a lego.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
