can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
