Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
