New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
