Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
