Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
