so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
