What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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