I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
