i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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