Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
