did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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