Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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