One girl and one boy is just not enough.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
