He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize